Labyrinth Of Suffering

First of all I would like to express my feeling on how grateful I am to be a Muslim. Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb. Alhamdulillah for everything You planned. Alhamdulillah for every blessings You gave. Life is really really beautiful (MashaaAllah) if we try to appreciate every single breath for us to breathe and every single time our hearts pounder to circulate blood throughout the body.

It's really true that there are ups and downs, highs and lows, sadness and happiness in our lives. I always had a monologue and said to myself, 'How can I even get out of this labyrinth of suffering?' past few days but today, right now, I realise that all pains I have to strongly endure and obstacles I have to get through bravely are made to keep my feet stay on the ground and remember who I am. I am a hopeless human being without Him. All bumps and difficulties made me realise that only to Him I can ask for help.

I still remember the start of the 'downs'. Few weeks after I sent my ucas application for UK universities, I got an email. . .

"Dear Miss Noorezan,

Something has changed on your UCAS application; please log in to UCAS Track to view the changes. You can access UCAS Track via the UCAS website www.ucas.com. This change may for example be one of the following:
• one of your choices has made a decision about your application
• you have received an invitation to interview
• you have made your replies
• you have withdrawn from a choice
• your reply to an offer has not been received at UCAS by the deadline given. If this is the case, your reply will show as Decline by Default (DBD). .

I logged in the UCAS Track. Shocked. I was very very very sad as I was kinda put high hope on this application bcs hmm well this is the only way to further study in my all-time-dream place! This was the first time being rejected, but not the last. Rejection after rejection. My heart broke, shattered into pieces for many times and got no chance to fully heal before it broke again. I did get an opportunity to attend an interview for Medicine in Queen's University of Belfast (which means there's still 30% chance) and I was hoping that I will get an offer from this medical school. But unfortunately, looks like Medicine in UK isn't on my side. Another rejection letter. Came to a point where I wanna give up, stop chasing anything and do nothing. Everything such a fool's paradise.

I forgot that people always say there's light at the end of a tunnel. Alhamdulillah after loads of rejections and sadness, I get an offer letter from USM-KLE for Medicine Programme in India! I feel very happy and really really really grateful till happiness tears burst and rolled down my cheek. At last, faith restored and hope shone back, telling me there's a chance to become a doctor! Just now, I saw another unread email in my inbox. And guess what?! A conditional offer from University of Edinburgh for Medical Science course, Alhamdulillahhh. Dilemma and confused, between passion and opportunity but at least there's a chance for me to further my study and become a 'someone'. Syukur alhamdulillah for everything Ya Rabb. Pray for my best! Thank you :)

Assalamualaikum.

Clash of Clans

What? Clash of Clans? What's that? 

Is it some kind of food? Or movie? Or ancient novel? I bet most of you especially girls will wonder what is it. Actually it is a game. I sound lame to those who are expert in this game hm but sorry not sorry because this is my blog so my fingers have the power to type everything my mind commands hehe. Okay, usually guys are the majority in this game, bcs girls prefer reading novels rather than sitting in front of gadgets for hours hmm I guess so.. (except for certain girls ehem I'm included in that category haha).

First time I played this game when I was trying to do some research about Medic and Health on my 2-year-old ipad. Accidentally, I saw someone tweet-ed about it and without knowing this could be a new addiction, I downloaded the game. I took a break trying to take a look at the game I'd just installed. "ENTER YOUR NAME" and I typed DYLLA, taraaa I have my own small village. And from that moment it became some kind of 'drug' to me.. haha sorry I know it sounds overly exaggerated. *giggle*

I had a small-level-1 Town Hall. And there you go, I built a gold collector and an elixir collector. Then I learned how to train troops and attack other villages! I was about to stop when suddenly I found a clan to join (yeay!) hahaha. Most of the clan members are guys and I know them as Sobri's friends. Never meet any of my clan members, only know their names but hey this is online game so what's the fuss of not meeting each other in real life, right? At least we do help each other especially when the clan war is declared (jeng jeng jeng!). Everybody tries their best to get 3 stars for each time attacking opponent's villages and to donate the best troops they can train to other clan members.

Currently, all of the builder huts in my village have no 'zzzz' comes out from them (that means they're busy) and yeah my TH7 (TH; Town Hall) is going to be level 8 weeeee. This whole post is only about COC (Clash Of Clans) wow I must be kidding! Better off now. Got some soldiers to be trained ;)

Assalamualaikum!


I Miss Him.

At time like this, I miss datuk. I really really really miss him. Listening to his favourite song, Waiting For You by Richard Marx and thinking of him are enough to make my teardrops roll down my cheek non-stop. How I wish he's still here. I always avoid talking about him esp with ibu because I know I will cry, but in front of ibu.. I decide to be strong. I prefer crying alone.  

Missing someone who has gone forever is much more hurtful. I can't meet him. I can't tell him how much I miss him. I can't hug him. I can't kiss him. I can't have him to kiss my forehead. I can't spend time with him. I can't look at his beard, and his smile. I can't tell my problems and doubts to him. I can't hear him giving me any advices. I can't have his supports. And I will never meet him again in this world.

I lost someone who always supported me in whatever I do. I lost someone who taught me how to be a courageous and strong person. I lost someone who held my hand so strong when I went to the dental clinic for the first time in my life. I lost someone who always told good stories. I lost someone who always brought 'nasi lemak' on every Friday night. I lost someone who always concerned about me, about us. I lost someone who always taught me English and life experiences. I lost someone who was the only person who always kissed my forehead. I lost someone who always care about me since I was a kid. I lost someone who called me 'Nurul', the first time people called me by name though my parents hadn't think about my name yet. I lost someone who really want to see me become a doctor. And the most important thing, I lost someone who I really really love.

Even 11-page post wouldn't be enough to tell everything. Every single thing about him was so perfect to me and will always be. For me he is always handsome. Handsome the way he was. Handsome till he let go his last breath. Handsome till I kissed him for the last time. Handsome till they buried him in the soil. Handsome till the end of my life. No one will ever and can't never replace him in my heart. His place in my heart is always there, never been touched and will never become smaller.

Like he always said, "Unto death we apart." And yes we apart because of death. I should be happy for him. Allah loves him more than I do so Allah took him first. It just sometimes that I feel sad because I really miss him. The ache of missing him doesn't lessen and will never fade, it just changes.

May Allah place his soul among the righteous in the Hereafter. Al-Fatihah.

Perdana University (PU-RCSI) Interview

Hey guys. Today I went to Perdana University for PU-RCSI interview. My father drove all way long from Malacca to Selangor and we started our journey as early as 7am (the registration should be at 10am actually haha) bcs I was afraid we might stuck in traffic jam or couldn't manage to find that place. And guess what, we arrived at 8.30am. One and half an hour earlier! 

We still have to wait until 10am (tick tock tick tock, time flew ver.... ry...... slow....) and by 10am five of us who came for the interview were escorted by a young lady to the university library (but I'm not sure whether it's a 'real' library for students or not). We had to answer 60 objectives questions on simple english for 30 minutes. The questions were simple, so no need to be scared of this part. 

Then we had to wait for another few minutes before being called for the face-to-face interview. There were 2 rooms and the interviewer would call our names for the interview session. So I just sat outside of the rooms (in the mini library) with the other interviewees. I made new friends. All of them were veryyy friendly! I was the fourth person (out of 5) to be called. I was interviewed by 2 persons, a man and a woman. I believe both of the doctors are also lecturers in the Perdana University. 

So here are some questions that I still can recall back; 

1.  Tell me about yourself and your family.
2.  Why do you choose Medicine? 
3.  What are you strengths and weaknesses?
4.  What are the curricular activities that you have joined?
5.  Are they any differences between doctors and nurses?
6.  Do you have any questions?

Then I was given 3 questions on situations aka ethical questions which were;

1.  You have a friend who asks you to sign for her attendance as the lecture is very important. She may have to repeat the whole year if she doesn't attend it. What will you do? Will you sign it for her?
2.  There is a 16-year-old girl comes to you and says that she wants to do an abortion. What will you do?
3.  You and your colleague are asked by a doctor to give an injection to a patient. Your friend takes the medication with a syringe and passes it to you. Halfway when you're injecting the patient, your friend tells you that the medication in the syringe is wrong. What will you do?

Oh btw, these are some informations about PU-RCSI that I know. Just in case you need them hehe. PU-RCSI is a collaboration between Perdana University and Royal College of Surgeon of Ireland which was started on year 2011. It provides 5 years medical degree programme (local). It comprises of 3 cycles which are Junior Cycle (JC), Intermediate Cycle (IC) and Senior Cycle (SC). For JC and IC there are 3 semesters respectively. And another 2 years are the Senior Cycle. And during SC, you will get the chance to follow a junior medical doctor which helps you for your internship upon graduation.

One of the special thing about this university is students graduated will be awarded with 2 degrees which are the; 
1. medical degree of National University of Ireland, Bachelor of Medicine, Bachelor of Surgery and Bachelor of Arts in Obstetrics (Mb Bch BAo) and
2. the historical Licentiates of the Royal College of Physicians of Ireland and Royal College of Surgeons of Ireland (LCRP & S (I)) 

That's all I guess. Better off now. Assalamualaikum. 

Be Grateful And Say Alhamdulillah

"No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted."

Good evening my fellow readers (I know nobody reads my blog act haha). First of all, I would like to inform that this post is from my previous blog. I just have to repost bcs I wanna share back my thought and at the same time remind myself. 

I read my makcu's entry in her blog entitled "Kematian Tidak Mengenal Usia." She posted about her husband. Am really touched seriously. I cried. The tears didn't drop in vain. The unnoticed tears dropped and made me felt realllyyyyyy grateful of having beloved ones (though my most beloved person after my parents; my grandfather is gone) in my life. I just can't imagine how my life would be without them. I know makcu feels the same too but yeah life must go on and I know makcu will be able to get through this, such a great obstacle. Yes it's true. Death comes regardless of age. It can come anytime and anywhere. Only Allah knows. He decides the best for us. All we have to do is to prepare ourselves for the day. It isn't late yet to change yourself and be a true muslim and muslimah.

Back to the main topic about something that related to "be grateful of what you have." To have ibu, ayah, family, friends etc in my life is one of the best thing that I've ever had in my life! Who gives us that grace? Of course Allah. Sit for a moment and think for awhile. He gives us many things so why can't we be grateful and struggle to be a faithful servant? Try to imagine what do we feel if we give something to someone but he or she does not appreciate that thing. Of course we'll feel neglected and maybe angry. We'll think "What for I give something to her but she doesn't appreciate it. I won't give her anything next time." Some of us might think that. From here do you realise something? Allah ALWAYS give us graces either directly or indirectly without neglecting those who don't appreciate His bounty. So guys wake up! Always appreciate of what you have. Maybe what we hate is the best for us while what we like is the bad for us. Only He knows whats the best for us.

The main two thing that I would like to highlight here are; 1. Do appreciate others in your live before it's too late because by that time when the person is gone forever, to regret is meaningless and you can't turn back time. 2. Always always always and always be grateful as we don't know whats the best in each path of life taken. Life is a journey with many obstacles that we must face. But what's life without obstacles and challenges right? Of course it'll be boring and dull. Thats all. I should sleep now. Goodnight and assalamualaikum.

Taylor Swift RED Tour

Guess what?! TAYLOR SWIFT IS COMING TO MALAYSIA!!! Seriously, no kidding. The tickets for the Red Tour are sold on the 1st of March and of course by now surely they've been sold out. It is a big lie if I say I don't have any plan on how to buy the ticket, how to go there, what should I wear, who should I ask to accompany me.. yes of course I did. But unfortunately it's a big-enormous-huge-gigantic NO from my parents. I knew it already from the first time I thought about it. I was just trying my luck and tho they are really in good mood, nahh I guess luck will never be at my side when it comes to "permission to go concert". I understand and accept their decisions. After all they are my parents. They know what they did is the best for me and I won't do anything they forbid. 


Eh? What is the poster above about? Oh if you guys wanna know, my sister and I are collecting points and we are going to redeem for Taylor Swift stuffs (not for the ticket concert)! So, if you guys eat or see someone eats this delicious Cornetto Taylor Swift Red Tour please message / email me the code behind the lid! Help us! We are really really appreciate and would like to thank those who had helped us. But we need more codes so yeah go get yourself and family this scrumptious ice cream!

Always a swiftie, Ardilla. Lol what a great way to end this post. Assalamualaikum! 

Worms Inside Face

"Give me an interesting topic." And he asked me whether I know about this worm-inside-face thingy or not. Tbh yes I've heard before that when someone who has sinus being treated, white worms will emerge from the skin pores hmm but I never watch it by myself. So I watched the video he gave me. Eww, I will never watch it again haha kidding.

But somehow there are few things that I keep wondering; Where did the worms come from? Are they from stomach? How they get their way to face? So I did some research and got different theories about this interesting (read: a bit disgusting) topic.

First theory;
It is a treatment where they use the earth roach, chop off the butt and squeeze the ooze on your face so that it heals certain illness for example to cure sinus, it is spread onto nose and face. Someone said that she first heard this method conducted in Melaka! (Lol Melaka).

Second theory;
The worms on the guy's face are from the roach. This particular species actually carries worms inside its stomach. When rubbed on the guy’s face, the ooze are worms that appears after a while, reacting to the exposed air. People who choose these types of treatment should be aware that the worms don't come from their own face.

Third theory;
They are using petroleum jelly to block oxygen from reaching the worms so due to lack of oxygen, they come to the surface.

Okay as for the conclusion, the first and the second theories are kinda related to each other so one of them may be true. For the third theory, someone stated that the petroleum jelly is usually used whenever have to deal with parasites. In this case, the worms are not parasites from inside bcs parasitic worms inside the skin would cause much more obvious marking or infection. So it is more likely that the parasitic worms are from the insect (earth roach).

Not sure whether it is correct or not but to be safe, if you have bad sinus or any infection, directly meet specialist and as for example in this case is ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) specialist so that he can advise what you should do and tell you the correct procedure.

That's all for now. Assalamualaikum.

Pishang?

Hey there again. So what's up with the title up there. Pishang? Huh? Really? What is pishang actually? I'm the one who shall ask what is "pishang" bcs I only know what is "pisang" (banana) but not "pishang" haha. I've heard lots of my friends use that word ("pishang") and just now my sister informed me that "pishang" is actually means boring. Lol why make things so complicated when you can just say you "bosan" (bored in malay). 

Oh I get it, it's all about coolness. You use the word "bosan" and you are ordinary just like the school kids and elderly (sorry I know this word is unacceptable at some places). So you use the word "pishang" and thought "Yeah that's more cool." But anyhow sometimes I have to admit that some cool-word-made-by-anyone does amplify the real word. Besides, using different words with unique pronunciations that other people don't use is as the same like having 'different language' that only you and your friends know. This can be seen especially during high school. Different schools have their different unique term for the same thing. For example, the term "adik angkat". In my school, we call it as 'title'. In mozac is 'contact'. In SAS is 'jambu'. And so on... (sorry I can't remember them all, I'm 20 already and it has been 3 years since I left my high school life haha). 

So yeah that's all about pishang. Till fingers meet keyboard again. Bye! Assalamualaikum. 

The Truth

"Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time."

So here I am, telling some truths that genuinely come from my heart. I don't expect anyone to read this post, so yes skip this post.

I feel happy because I have a great life (Alhamdulillah!). I know there are ups and downs in life and I am in the 'downs' phase but hey despite all the obstacles and difficulties I have to face, I still have things that I can be grateful for. Remember, this is life.

I feel confuse especially when it comes to "what will happen to my life next day, next month, next year, next 10 years...". Currently I keep thinking of those interviews which I have to attend in order to get a placement for Medicine. Another truth here is hmm I still put high hope on my dream. Not really the whole dream (bcs it has broken apart, literally) but at least seven-tenth of it.

I feel insecure of knowing there are many other girls out there who are of course much prettier, wiser, funnier, and all those good adjectives that described them. And to know that I need to be one of those "Le cream of cream" to get a placement in any of the medical schools increases my insecure.

Sometimes I feel jealous when someone talks to you or gives you compliment or treats you etc. And I wish you feel the same way too. But don't worry I'm not that kind of certain crazy lad who conquers someone's life. No no I'm not like that. Trust is needed in this matter, and I trust you.

There are more truths but I guess I just keep to myself. I shall sleep now as the bed and pillows look very very very tempting to be slept on haha so good night.

Assalamualaikum.

USM-KLE Interview

To be honest this is my third time creating a blog (if you don't count before I entered SSP) haha. Taraaa! My third blog. Oh whatever dylla, now let's straight to the point. Lemme tell you everything from A to Z before I only remember from A to J. It's about the USM KLE interview that I went last few days which was held on 5th of May, Saturday to be exact. So the interview was conducted in the USM Kubang Kerian, Kelantan. Yeah it's far far away from Melaka so I have to be there one day earlier as the registration was in the morning. I went there with my father and my sister by bus. Yes by bus because my father didn't want to drive and we thought travelling by bus is more adventure than plane haha. We stayed in Al-Inshirah Inn, a budget-but-comfy hotel which is situated only about 0.5km from USM Kubang Kerian. Bla bla bla and we arrived on Friday morning. We spent the whole day going to beach (Pantai Cahaya Bulan), eating 'Nasi Berlauk' (my very first time!), finding the interview place etc and we arrived back at the budget hotel at night. 

On the next morning, we went out as early as 7am. I wore a green baju kurung matched with a white 'tudung'. The dress code for me is quite formal but you don't have to wear blazer and shirt and 3-inch black shoes nahh not really necessary. As long as you look polite and courteous, that is enough. And make sure you have your breakfast first! 

Then we straight away went to the USMKK and waited for registration. I was among the early interviewees arrived. A guy came and lead us to a place to be interviewed. There're 5 rooms with 2 panels each. I am the fourth interviewee for the Room 2. When it was my turn, one of the doctors (panels) came out and invited me into the room. I greeted them politely and they asked me to sit down. The questions were in English and Malay. If they ask in English, then answer in English and if they ask in Malay, answer them in Malay. So basically these were the questions that I got;

1.  Tell me a bit about yourself. 
2.  Why do you want to be a doctor?
3.  You said that your grandfather had a bypass surgery, so can you tell me what it is about?
4.  I see that you have a certificate for silat (martial art), how is it related to Medicine? 
5. What do you know about USM KLE? 
6.  What do you expect to become the first year medical student in USM KLE?

After that I was given a situation on a piece of paper. I can't really remember but more or less like this;

"You are rushing to board a plane and you see there's a man who is injured badly."

It's more like discussion actually. I gave my opinions what I would do and the panels tried to make me confuseeee haha but don't worry too much, it wasn't that serious as you may think! They're sooooo kind and funny! I really wish I will get the opportunity to study there, hm wish me luck! And good luck for those who'll attend the interview! 

Tata guys. Assalamualaikum :)