Monday, October 20, 2014


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Listening to Richard Marx - Waiting For You and this song never fails to make me really sad.
Cried almost every time listening to it.
It was Datuk's all time fav song.
I heard he sang this song for the first time when we were in the car as he drove me back to my home from kindergarten.
251st day since he left us, but I still can't move on.
I always try my best to avoid looking at his photo, searching his video and smelling his shirt so that I won't cry like a baby in front of others.
But sometimes, I miss him too much that only by crying (while reciting du'a) could I feel satisfy.

If I could turn back time,
I would tell him thousand times every day that I really love him.

If I could turn back time,
I would go to his house every day just like what I did when I was in kindergarten and primary school.

If I could turn back time,
I would record his actions and daily activities so that I would never forget his voice and what he liked to do.

If I could turn back time,
I would kiss his cheeks every day telling him I love him so much.

If I could turn back time,
I would keep all stuffs he gave me properly and write every single thing he told me.

If I could turn back time,
I would eat nasi lemak masjid that he usually brought home after Maghrib for the last time.

If I could turn back time,
I would never make him asked "Mana Ardilla?"

If I could turn back time,
I would definitely stay by his bed and watch he released his last breath.

If I could turn back time, if I knew he's going to meet Allah soon, I will cherish every single moment and every single second with him.

Sorry for being emotional tonight.
It's just that I really miss him right now.
I wish he were here to ask me whether I'm okay or not, how's my study etc.

Datuk will be missed, but never forgotten.
May Allah swt forgive him and place his soul among the righteous in the Hereafter.
InshaaAllah amin. Al Fatihah.


Please, please and please appreciate your beloved ones.
You never know when they'll leave you forever.
By that time, you'll wish you could turn back time but it will be in vain.
You could never turn back time, past remains past.

Thursday, October 16, 2014


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Hi guys!
Today was a busy day for me.
I had 3 lectures, mms and clinical skills session.
Plus, I just finished practising an act that we'll present in front of the whole class during History of Medicine tomorrow.
Here I just wanna share something with you guys.
Something that happened to me today.
The first time of what I should have done years before.

To be honest, I never became an imam during prayer time even when I was in secondary school (all girls).
Well basically because I started to wear scarf (tudung) when I was in form 4 so I always thought that I didn't deserve to be an imam.
Sometimes my friends did asking me to be the imam but I always refused.
Yes, I pretended like I wanna lead the solat jemaah but I didn't (zaman jahil sikit).

Last night, I was eating laksa when I heard azan Maghrib.
Immediately I stopped eating and said to Kak Nas that I wanted to join them to solat berjemaah.
Kak Nas was the imam while Najwa was the bilal (the one who iqamah is a bilal right?).
After solat, I said to myself, "Best juga kalau dapat jadi imam ni."
But I simply ignored my thought.
I folded my telekung and continued eating my laksa.

The next day (today),  I studied a bit after mms session in the library and went to surau to solat.
I took my wudhu', wore telekung and started praying when suddenly.. someone stood near beside me and tapped my shoulder!
At first, I felt like wanna stop and tell the young lady that I couldn't be an imam.
But I didn't stop.
I changed my niat (as an imam) and continued praying until the end.
Alhamdulillah everything went well.
It was such an indescribable-mixed feeling, really.
I was a bit terrified because all happened out of sudden but at the same time I felt very very very happy, excited, confident, thrilled and all-those-good-feeling-that-exist-in-this-world!
Maybe I sounded so lame to you but this is the truth.
Until now I still can't believe this.
Can't believe that I can do this.

Betul lah like people always say,
"Kalau niat nak buat benda baik, InshaaAllah Allah swt akan tolong and permudahkan."

Maybe everything was just a coincidence but still, who planned everything? Allah swt.
Correct your intention every day.
Though you may think something is impossible but with Allah swt helps, nothing is impossible.
That's all. I need to take a bath.

Toodles and assalamualaikum :)

Monday, October 13, 2014


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi barakatuh.

Curi masa kejap while finishing my Assigned Independent Reading (AIR) assignment to update this rusty blog of mine haha.
Life isn't hectic as I imagined before (well maybe bcs this is our first sem).
Today as for instance, I got only 1 lab session (10.45-12.45) and that's all haha.
But here in IMU we rarely have long holidays, that's the disadvantage.
Anyway, in this post I'm gonna tell you bout my first experience as a volunteer going to Rumah Titian Kasih.
I had volunteered in few programs involving poor kids and orphans before but I never went to their homes.

Seeing Orange Project? Why is it called 'Seeing Orange'?
So basically Rumah Titian Kasih is a place or to be exact a beautiful home for elderly people, single mothers and children who are very very poor.
So our main aim is to teach the children esp those who can't read as much as we could.
Sajid told us during the briefing that we wanna make the children to learn reading like how a blind person knows what orange colour is (something like that).
But this is our first meeting with them, so as usual ice-breaking session is a must.

Rumah Titian Kasih is situated in Titiwangsa and is about 35 minutes from IMU (if no traffic jam ofcs).
We left IMU on last Saturday at 6.50pm and arrived at 7.40pm.
The first moment for us was kinda awkward but the kids were very friendly.
At first glance, you will never know what those kids had gone through.
They seemed happy all the time.
I really really love kids so I think it was quite easy for me to get along with them.
The first kid I met named Intan.
She showed us the bathroom and place for us to solat.

After solat, a girl named Syafina approached me and asked me to tie a red balloon that she had blown.
She was quite new at that place.
Kak Wani told me when Syafina came to that house for the first time, she didn't stop eating because she came from a very poor family and rarely ate nice food.
Kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang.
So once she got food, she ate non-stop.
Every time someone looked at her, mesti ada food kat tangan dia.
Sad of thinking we easily throw away extra things and food we don't want when there are many people out there who crave some rice for dinner.

Back to the story.
There was one time that Syafina suddenly ran to me and hugged me :')
To be honest I was really touched.
I treated her like my own sister and hugged her back.

The children were divided into few groups and we had an ice breaking session.
We played few games before continuing with their reading assessment.
At first Maisarah who is a 9-year-old girl didn't wanna join bcs she was sulking at that time.
So I went to her and asked whether she's alright or not. She just kept quiet.
I asked for her permission to sit beside her and started the conversation by complimenting her drawings (her drawings were really really way better than mine haha).
Then we played teka-teki together before she told me she wanted to sit with the others.

Actually we had to assess their reading skills but few kids in my group (Aida, Maisarah, Najwa, Farah) know how to read and insisted us to sembang with them instead haha.
Sarah and I were in Blue Group.
In my group there was a 16-year-old girl who is a Korean band fan.
Guess what, she knows most of Korean songs, can sing very well with nice voice and she can even do split and bridge because she's a flyer in cheerleading!
This girl is amazing.
Sarah and I talked bout many things and the kids seemed to like singing very much.
They sang lots of songs which Sarah and I never knew before and we just sitting there with our blur faces.
At 11 we had to go back as it's time for the kids to sleep.
We managed to capture few photos before leaving.

I really really had a great time with them.
And most important thing, what I learned from them are; always be grateful and happy of what you have now & enjoy your life to the fullest.
I really look forward for the next meeting with them.
InshaaAllah if ada rezeki definitely I will join again.

Teka-teki with Maisarah

Mamak before going back to IMU

I better go now and get ready for my class haha.
Assalamualaikum :)

p/s: Sorry if there's any spelling error or grammar mistake. I'll check it later.