Finally, a doctor


Have you ever thought of quitting something when you were almost at the end?
Have you ever cried so hard inside, but pretended you were okay? 
Have you ever felt like giving up and wanted to run away, but you just can't?
Have you ever felt like giving up, but you know you'd regret it?

I had. 

This event of my life deserves a post here. IMU has so many professional examinations that make me lost count. What I knew, on the 6th of August (Tuesday), I had my final professional examination, the last exam as a medical student in IMU. IMU has a different system from other universities. I had OBA, EMQ and 16-OSCE stations in Semester 9, and I thought that was already the toughest exam.

The exam in our final semester (semester 10) consisted of a long case and viva on our 10 portfolios. It was easier than semester 9, but definitely not as easy as "Don't worry, you don't have to study also can pass." But what I can say, Semester 10 is one of the best semesters that I'd ever had as a medical student in IMU.

The whole batch was divided into 2 big groups; about 2/3 in Batu Pahat, and another 1/3 in Kluang. I was posted in Kluang. 5 months spent there and I had no regret. I really, really enjoyed my time in Kluang. The lecturers were helpful and inspiring, and my groupmates (especially Wen Yee, Law, Kirthirna and Marsaid) were the best. They were hardworking, and fun at the same time. I remember I'd been in a situation where I was so scared and shy to share anything or answer questions, but with them, I felt free to share thoughts, answer questions and performed examinations whenever I was asked by the doctors, sometimes voluntarily. They made me felt confident and never a second they underestimated me. Some people say a good environment will help you to grow, and I second that. 

Long story cut short, 5 months had gone and there were 2 weeks left before the exam. We already submitted our portfolios and I was really glad I managed to complete it. I like all the cases that I had chosen and written. I remember that day when I handed in the portfolio, I was like, "Okay, now it's just the exam left." Lol I wished it would be as easy as how I said it haha.

I started to feel a bit stressful. Palpitations came on and off. I had a few breakdowns. The hardest part was not only the breakdowns, but also how to make no one noticed. There was once I cried before going for on-call, then I told myself to stay strong, drove to the hospital and talked to patients like nothing happened. It was NOT easy. That was why most of the study week break I spent at home. I felt less stressful at home. Alhamdulillah, food was always available (yes hungry can make me feel sad also). By the time I went back to Kluang a few days before the exam, I felt more energetic and motivated. But, I still had breakdowns. Why so many breakdowns? Haha I have no idea.

Alhamdulillah, I have supportive family and friends. Ibu, ayah and my sister, Ica were always there willing to call me anytime whenever I needed someone to talk to. They always reminded me; "Allah tak kejam kat hamba dia yang dah berusaha. Awak dah usaha. Buat yang terbaik, then doa and tawakkal." My brother, Aiman sent funny gifs and cartoons in Whatsapp. Tiara willingly became a shoulder for me to cry on. She made me felt motivated and increased my confidence. Sara was always there as well. Although she was busy preparing for her marriage, she would never ignore my call and text. S slept late to listen to me ranting even though he loves sleeping and pantang if someone disturbs his sleeping time haha yes he still does (but he did more than that actually, thank you S!). Ummi kept telling me to pass this exam so we can jalan together haha. Anis gave me a lot of study and exam tips. She always sent me a long texts, answering my short question, making sure that I really understood it. From time to time, Sarah would check on me, how were my preparation and stuff. Sanaa, Nadia, Nawal, Kak Ummi and Farhah were soooo helpful. I stayed with them a few days before exam. We revised together, laughed together, made fun together, ate together.

There were a lot other people who involved, which I could have never done without them. I am really really really thankful to have them in my life. I would never trade these people with anything else in this world. They are so selfless, so kind. They inspired me in ways that I don't think they've ever realised. Thank you!

Okay now, I present to you *drum roll*..

The doctors from ME214!

Oath-taking Ceremony 

With Dato' Kanda

With Prof Nazimah and Datuk Soo 

With Prof James 

With Dato' Siva

My groupmates! Not in the photo: Jennifer, Luo Bin, Marsaid
With Aunty Magis 

With Sister Siti 

With Kak Zai

And last but not least, 
ME214!

Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for this.

Finally, a doctor. 

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