I was kinda happy at first after we managed to recruit about 10 people in less than 24 hours, a good sign as our initial plan was to recruit at least 30 people. We already did our very best to gather as many people as possible to join our homestay programme. We changed our date to fit with others' timetable as many of them told us they couldn't go because of exam, presentation, etc. After a while, time becomes a huge matter, and frustration is just a breath away. Still having faith, we kept promoting day by day, but then none of them showed up.
I didn't know whether it's a matter of time, or maybe because the price is too high hmmm I just don't know. Or maybe they don't wanna join an event organised by us hmm. Okay, lets not make things more complicated and start to think positive. I'm not gonna blame anyone as they have their own choices. If they don't want then we could not force them. It's their own money, and maybe they have a really good excuse, but they didn't wanna tell us.
Some of the participants told me they wanna withdraw from participating. It was a heartbreaking moment for us, leaving us speechless. Especially when even our batch mates refused to join. Who else will support you more if not your batch tapi tiada yang sudi wuaaaa okay brb crying. Haha. We still haven't decided yet what's our final conclusion. My study is quite a mess lately, Haemato System is on the way, but I still get lost in the labyrinth of the Respiratory System. (ceh ayat over haha!)
There's a point in my life, a breaking point, where I feel like wanna stop everything and do nothing. Not even eating. (Eating as an example, as that is what I love doing the most haha). Okay, back to seriousness. In times like this, I start to compare myself with others. It's not a good decision tho. I start to compare myself with those in instagram and twitter and facebook etc. Those social networks lower my self esteem, make me think that I'm the worst person who has the worst thing to face. I overlook the beautiful things around me as they are overwhelmed by the frustration and sadness built in me by myself. I know, it sounds like I'm destroying myself haha.
Then I remember 1 thing said by a famous scholar, Nouman Ali Khan in one of his lectures. I couldn't really remember the exact statement, but it's something like this;
"When you're in this world, you're already given a stated amount of obstacles and advantages. That's the limit. You won't get any higher or any lower. You won't be given with challenges that you couldn't overcome."
Yes, something like that. If I said it wrong, do correct me. This statement is one of those which I usually recall in my mind while picking myself back up. Telling myself, "It's okay Dylla tomorrow is a brand new day. It's gonna be a great day for you. You must trust Him." If picking up myself alone is not enough, then I will remind myself, He will help me. As long as what I do is based on a good intention, InshaaAllah He will definitely help me. Dunya is not worth to be cried for.
Hopefully everything will go well. Pray for us.