After 12 Years, He still Remembers Me

Photo cred: bonjourvanessa.tumblr.com

I couldn't believe he remembers my name. I must be a very good girl back then. Ok perasan.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

My ayah owns a cylinder gas company. If you were at the same primary school with me, you'd probably remember some naughty students calling me "Anak gas"(???) haha. 

I studied in Sekolah Kebangsaan Bukit Beruang, Melaka. Yes, there's a hill just behind my school, which where the 'Bukit Beruang' (Bear Hill) name came from, although no one ever saw a bear, and good to know that no one did. This school has a special place in my heart. This was where I started to love Mathematics and got involved in Maths Olympiad, and all sorts of Mathematics Competitions. A big thanks to Cikgu Norliza for guiding me in Maths Olympiad from the district level, to state, to national and lastly, to the international level in Hong Kong, which unfortunately I had to reject due to some reasons. If anyone knows where Cikgu Norliza now, please do let me know. I really wanna meet and thank her. 

It was also a place where I met my true blue childhood best friend, Ummi, and had a great fight for one month and ended up being best friends until now and would laugh every time we remember that silly incident haha. It was a place where I was trained to become a leader when I was appointed to become the first female head prefect (dulu lah ada ciri kepimpinan sikit, now more to kemalasan haha kidding), by our prefect supervisor, Cikgu Siti Hawa and discpline teacher, Cikgu Rohaidee.

Cikgu Siti Hawa is so motherly that she was like our mother in the school. It reminds me of a silly story haha. I'll tell you, but don't laugh haha. It was so so so silly. I remember there was one time, me and my friends created a 'spy team'. I bet we all just watched Spy Kids movie that time. There was no whatsapp, no phone, so we discussed by having a meeting, like a real meeting face to face. When we had a suspect, we would try to find proof. It was so silly. Just because we thought this one kid was a bit suspicious and acting weird, we spied on him(?), thinking he hid something somewhere. So much drama. We would tell Cikgu Siti Hawa after we thought our proofs were strong enough. Cikgu Siti Hawa was so kind that she played along and just layan our drama haha terima kasih cikgu! 

Cikgu Rohaidee who was also my Science teacher taught me to the point where I started to fall in love in Science. Oh god, I sound so nerd, do I? Haha. Anyway, talking about Cikgu Rohaidee reminds me of another story. I went for Kolej Yayasan Saad entrance exam and I managed to secure a place for the next level. Unfortunately, the second round held on the same day my school organised a school trip for us, the UPSR leavers, to Genting Highland. It was a golden chance opportunity. My parents gave me their permission, but at the same time, they told me that I would miss the only chance to enter KYS. Since 12, I started to do things following my heart. Alhamdulillah, I'm really grateful having great supportive parents who always tell me the pros and cons of something, instead of directly say 'No'. During the day when UPSR result was released, my father asked Cikgu Rohaidee on his opinion whether I should go for the second-level interview or Genting Highland. And guess what he said? 

"Encik kasi je dia pergi Genting tu. Saya yakin dia boleh dapat sekolah asrama penuh."

I went to Genting, had a great time with my friends and Alhamdulillah I did managed to secure a place in a boarding school, Sekolah Seri Puteri, Cyberjaya. 

That was the last time I saw Cikgu Rohaidee and all my other teachers. 

I wished I have time visiting them in school. 

After 12 years.

A guy came to my father's company to order a cylinder cooking gas. Out of the blue, he asked my mother,

"Ni mak Ardilla eh?" (Are you Ardilla's mother?)

"Haah." (Yes.)

"Oh dia belajar kat mana sekarang?" (Where is she studying now?)

"Dia sekarang kat IMU, Seremban." (She's studying in IMU, Seremban)

"Oh. Okay." 

I was playing with my phone when I heard their conversation. But I didn't dare to interrupt, plus I wasn't wearing tudung at that time. I thought he was one of my primary schoolmates, because most of them know my father owns a cylinder gas company. What ibu told me next really surprised me. It was my primary school teacher, Cikgu Rohaidee! I was really touched that he still remembers my name! 

I purposely bragged in front of my sister and brother.

"Terharunya Cikgu Rohaidee tanya Mak Ardilla ke. Dia tak tanya Mak Ariesha atau Mak Aiman."

"Orang kuat mengampu boleh lah." 

And the whole family laughed. 

Cis. Jealous lah tu hahaha. 


P/s: A big thank to all my primary school teachers. Although I didn't mention all names, but just to let you know that all of you have a special place in my heart for being a part of my life journey. Terima kasih cikgu! Hehe. 


Selective Posting - First Day, First CPR, First Death


After 4 years, I am back at this place. What happened in 2014 was something that I would never forget. What about the incident that happened on the first day?

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

For those who follow me on my Instagram, you might be aware that currently, I'm having my selective posting in Accident & Emergency (A&E) department at Melaka General Hospital. Today marks the end of the third week, and so far, day by day, I love being in A&E even more.

I still remember the first day when I stepped into the red zone a.k.a 'resus'. I was here before in 2014, as a patient's relative. I wasn't a part of the team. I wasn't even a medical student yet. I knew nothing about medical jargons, nor that I fully understood medical explanations in layman's terms. I questioned the doctors, nurses, MAs, guards for not allowing us, the family members to enter, observing my late grandfather at his last breath. Little did I know that time, our presence might cause difficulty and trouble for them to handle other critically ill patients. But, what I know, from that moment, my contemplation of pursuing either Medical Science in the UK or Medicine in Malaysia disappeared, and here where I am now, after 4 years, as a medical student.

On the first day of my selective posting, I did my first CPR. A 20ish gentleman was unconscious out of blue and they already started resuscitating in the ambulance when they were on their way bringing him here. It was a chaos. The team lead by an MO did everything they could to save the patient. As it was my first day, the most I could help was doing CPR. I took turns with my colleagues, one after another. 1 hour passed, and the time of death was declared. It was the first death I saw in Melaka Hospital and it broke my heart when I saw the family members. I was afraid I might tear up, so I left resus and went to the yellow zone to take a deep breath in and make myself forget on how I felt the moment they declared my grandfather passed away. It was not easy. It had never been easy. But I have to.

We never know when we or our beloved ones will leave forever, so appreciate every single moment while we still have it.