Jun 26, 2015

Insecurity Level Up, Confidence Level Down

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Define insecurity.
1. uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence.

Girls and insecurity can't be separated. I don't know if this is one of the pre-exam syndromes or what but to be honest, lately I have been quite demotivated, felt insecure and of course they came along with the homesickness. Tried slowly to pick myself back up with the help of my strong support system which I can't never imagine what my life would be without them. 

I started to feel a bit demotivated after having a mock OSCE last Tuesday. OSCE stands for Objective Structured Clinical Examination and during OSCE, we have to show our clinical skills. It's a part of the exam and if someone fails, the person has to repeat the whole year without the chance to resit. This is one of those what I'm scared of. Even though it was just a mock, but still the butterfly thingy was there all the time I tell ya!

I thought I did quite well for other stations except for the easiest one; pulse station. I know where were the locations of those pulses but then I didn't know what should I report other than the character, volume and rhythm of the pulses. This thing kept lingering in my mind for a few days until this evening when we had the debriefing session and got feedback from our clinical skills lecturers. My batch was divided into 2 groups and the passing mark for my group was quite high for history taking station. I was very nervous as Dr Lydia told us that we were gonna get our marks! "This is it Dylla. You know where you are after this," I told myself. I prayed hard, wishing at least I was among the average. The sister (how we address the nurses in csu according to their 'pangkat') called our name one by one.

When my name was being called..

I went to the front and took my result. I was a bit shocked. Alhamdulillah I passed for every station! I was really really really relieved. I began to feel a bit confident, but reminded myself not to be too confident. Of course I still have to practice. I was really happy and it became a motivation for me. I know I can do this, just like how others can! One thing is solved, 2 left.

The solution of feeling homesick is the easiest; by going back home. Here I am in Melaka weee. Just came back home after class hehe so happy. 2 things are solved, 1 left.

Insecurity. A simple word but yet has a complicated meaning. Idk how bout guys, but for girls, yeah, I know each one of us must have our own kind of insecurity. Insecurity often can make us 'down' and feel a bit useless. Insecurity starts to build up in our mind usually from social media applications.

Saw a pretty girl with a perfect skin complexion. Insecure. 
Saw a rich person who can buy anything s/he wants. Insecure. 
Saw a young lady who knows how to pick the guitar and play any kind of songs. Insecure. 
Saw a guy travels here and there like that is the only thing he does. Insecure. 
When you share something, others ignore. But when someone else shares the exact same thing, others acknowledge. Insecure. 
Saw someone with really nice handwriting. Insecure. 
Your friends have finished studying, but you still stuck on the same page since a week ago. Insecure. 
Saw someone who knows how to wear make up. Insecure.

The list just goes on and on.

I just felt a bit insecure after watching a short video of 'bungee jumping' in Facebook. My parents would never allow me to this kind of things and I myself also will not try all those crazy-adrenaline-rush stuffs. Cukup lah setakat belajar adrenaline in lectures je hmm. Yes, I have tried few crazy stuffs before (though it wasn't that crazy) but yeah that's it. Only a few, never did the extreme ones. I told Sobri about the bungee jumping video and he straightly said "Let's do this later." Hmm to be honest I felt kinda loser because I'm not one of the brave girls who are willing to try anything, and nothing will scare them. No, I'm not like that. I know this reason is not a solid one, but still, nama pun perempuan, benda macam ni pun nak rasa insecure. Sigh.

I always say to myself "Don't feel insecure Dylla. You're as good as them." And I feel very grateful for having my ibu, ayah, family, Sobri and friends who never tired of giving advices and raising my spirits again.

How to not feel insecure? So here's how you gonna do it!

1.  Feel good about yourself
Everyone has their own speciality and there will always someone who is better, prettier, smarter than you. Always feel nice about yourself and believe you're just like anyone else. Always. Do not feel inferior to all those people. Maybe you can't do what s/he does, but there's something you can do but they can't.

2.  Excel in what you're doing
One way to feel good is to excel. Excel is not only about study and education, but it also includes various other aspects such as interests, hobbies, work and so on. Focus and always work hard to achieve what you want and it can help in improving self-confidence and get rid of low self-esteem. But still, remind yourself not to be too proud as I always say, this is life, and there's always someone who is better than you.

3.  Change insecurity to motivation
Change 'I can't' to 'I can'. Make what you're insecure of as a part of motivation to become better. There was one time I felt really insecure with a friend of mine who can play a guitar. I wished I can be like her, and eventually I started learning to play a guitar. Now alhamdulillah, though I'm not a pro, but at least I can play a bit hehe.

4.  Be grateful with what you have
We often forget that social media website is a place where everyone just shows the good things about their lives and themselves. I have to admit that I myself will only upload things that I want to share with others, and usually the things that appeared fun and joyful only. Never compare what others have with what you have. This is life, we will never be satisfied. And we will not get everything we wish for. What we have, others might don't have. Stop counting others' blessings and start to appreciate ours. There are too many to be noticed. Don't always look at someone who's higher, but look at someone who's lower, then you'll be much more grateful.

5.  Be yourself
Sometimes, when someone looks perfectly perfect in our eyes, we try to change ourselves to be like her/him. We try to copy her style, the way she talks and everything. "Lawanya dia, hm nak jadi macam dia lah. Nanti nak beli baju baju macam dia." No no, don't be like this. You just have to be yourself. Yes you can make someone as your idol, but choose the right one. Be better in your own way and never bother what others may think bout you as long as what you do is the right thing to do. We live in a society where you will be judged no matter what you do. Even if you're right, you may be considered as wrong because you're not in the majority. Don't listen to others. As long as what you do is correct, just follow your heart. Those who accept you when you're being yourself are worth to keep and you don't have to waste your time, pretending like someone else who is so not you.

Hope these tips help. Don't feel insecure, and be confident!

Selamat berbuka to Muslims. Assalamualaikum :)

Jun 24, 2015

Colmar Tropicale, Bukit Tinggi

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi warabarakatuh. 

Exam is just around the corner, less than 3 weeks left for OSCE. I just had my mock OSCE yesterday which I think was quite okay.. but tak tahu lah doctors rasa macam mana haha. Kinda busy with OSCE practices and study and yadayada the list goes on, tak sempat nak update blog tsktsk. 

Anyway Dylla nak story pasal journey Dylla to a French-themed resort in Malaysia. Opened in year 2000, Colmar Tropicale was modelled after 16th century Colmar town, north east of Alsace, France, also incorporating architectural designs and elements from ancient surrounding villages of Riquewihr, Turckheim and Kaysersberg (ayat dicilok dari website Colmar Tropicale sendiri hehe). Colmar Tropicale ni one of the interesting places on top of Bukit Tinggi. Ada lagi few places such as Japanese Village, Animals Farm, and if Dylla tak silap the longest flying fox in South East Asia (something like that) pun ada dekat dekat sini juga. Cuma Dylla memang pergi untuk ambil gambar, so pergi Colmar Tropicale Resort ni jelah.

Tak jauh pun dari KL, ada lah dalam sejam. Rasa jauh time part nak naik bukit, berliku-liku, pening kepala cheq nah. Kalau ibu ni confirm dah serik tak nak pergi dah haha sebab ibu cepat pening kepala. Itu pun nasib lah bukan Dylla yang drive haha. So sampai sampai je terus park dekat parking for visitors.

And mula lah sesi ambil gambar sana sini, duk pelenjan camera Sobri haha.

Acah model -.-

Dia ni pula acah photographer haha

Ada lagi tapi Dylla upload kat Instagram. So if nak tengok few more, just search dyllarezan on Instagram okay?

Kitorang pergi time puasa so tak perlu makan. If tak silap, food kat atas ni macam mahal sikit so bagi sesiapa yang tak nak makan sini, better beli ke apa dulu siap siap. Tempat ni tak besar sangat pun, but okay lah, pemandangan cantik dari atas ni. Subhanallah lawa ciptaan Tuhan nampak pokok sana sini hehe. Oh and lagi satu, panas ye sebenarnya eventho it's on the top of the hill. Al maklum lah Malaysia, bukannya overseas haha.

Okay lah till here guys. Assalamualaikum! :)

Jun 16, 2015

Emo Tak Tentu Pasal

This post is supposed to be posted on 16TH JUNE 2015. 

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. 

Haha what's up with the title. I went out for lunteaner (lunch+tea+dinner, new word created by Dylla hehe) then tak habis habis Sobri ungkit pasal Dylla emo lah apa lah *jeling*. Ni semua gara gara semalam, Dylla tetiba je rasa nak marah orang hm tapi takde lah marah sangat pun. Memang ada kot pre-csu syndrome :p haha because bila esok ada clinical skills session je mesti Dylla rasa macam tak senang duduk, especially if hari esok history taking pehh. Bukannya apa, during Cardiovascular System if I'm not mistaken, Dylla kena ambil full history daripada simulated patient (included history of presenting illness, systemic review, family history, pass illness and medication and social history), then time tengah interview sp tetiba doctor tu stop kan Dylla kejap and beritahu yang Dylla tak cukup show empathy blabla and since then, I always wished I would never have to take history again. And kebetulan 2 history taking sessions after tu memang Dylla kena part summary je, phew.

Dylla memang kalau clinical session je mesti tak pernah nak volunteer, well, for me if you volunteer means you are already an expert which is definitely NOT TRUE. My friends always told and advised me to volunteer so that you have the chance to practice in front of the real doctors! Yelah sebab sometimes if practise depan kawan kawan tak semestinya semua benda diorang tahu because they also are still learning but hmm yeah that's me. I need to change, tak boleh dah jadi tak confident and penakut tak nak volunteer.


Another history taking session. Included some physical examinations.

Yeah yeah as usual, my group mates yang volunteer apa semua dulu. We had a peer tutor who has already become a houseman to guide us. The first case was about cvs; bruising on the left leg because of poor management on the taking of warfarin as the patient didn't turn up for 2 appointments. From history taking to physical examination, no one passed the case to me. Maybe because diorang pun tahu yang Dylla ni memang tak suka volunteer and kalau boleh tak nak kena langsung hahaha. So sampai lah habis cvs case, group mates Dylla yang buat semua. Dylla rasa macam nak lah juga actually took part in that case but then hmmm rasa tak confident. Yelah diorang semua nampak macam hebat hebat je, kalau nak dibanding kan dengan Dylla :/

Masa kitorang baru nak wrap up the first case, tetiba sorang sp masuk cubicle kitorang dengan oxygen mask and terus je baring atas katil. Rupa-rupanya sp ni memang experienced sp, rasanya dah lama kot dia jadi sp and selalu involve dalam exam juga. Dia siap kasi advices apa semua hmm I think he was one of the SPs Dr L talked about; they tend to think they're doctors haha. But somehow bagus juga lah because dia siap tolong beritahu apa betul apa salah if peer tutor tertinggal. Okay ulang balik.. haaa so bila move to the next case memang Dylla lah yang kena sebab Dylla je yang belum kena lagi haha! Patient dah lah baring atas katil, hmmm our first time encountered this kind of case. Dylla cakap kat diri sendiri, takpe lek je, do like what you usually did.

So Dylla pun start lah tanya itu ini. In the middle of conversation Dylla rancak gila bertanya itu ini sebab macam nak tahu betul betul apa masalah patient ni sampai Dylla terlupa ada peer tutor and group mates keliling kitorang haha! Then at the end, after Idea, Concern and Expectation, Dylla pun thanked the patient and looked at our peer tutor. Peer tutor tu cakap,"You did well." and out of sudden sp tu menyampuk, "Yes you did very well. I really like your style. As a patient, I like your style. You're very calm. You really wanted to know bout me. Blablabla." And peer tutor tu pun cakap lagi, "Yes, true. For a student like you, yes you did well and I like your style." Weeeee terus rasa cam berada di awang awangan. Rasa segan sikit sebab semua orang pandang (hehe gedik) and at the same time rasa ada lah confident balik "Rupa rupanya aku lebih kurang macam kawan kawan yang lain. Tak teruk pun." Alhamdulillah.

Then sampai ke habis csu mood Dylla baik hehe. After that Sobri bawa keluar makan (gambar hashtag Foodylla in my instagram kehkeh) and beriya Dylla cerita semua benda haha over excited!

So as a conclusion, somehow bila rasa diri tak hebat apa semua, we have to be brave enough and challenge ourselves. If we don't try, we wouldn't know. Lesson learnt. Hopefully I will be braver to volunteer next time! Hehe.

Assalamualaikum :D

Jun 14, 2015

Last Friday

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. 

Here's a quick update of what happened last Friday. 

Sobri balik last Monday so ada lah geng nak food hunting yeay! Friday Morning Dylla ada clinical session on venepuncture. Seronok and happy jap finally we learned this thing! Dylla belajar how to take blood from patients with the correct steps and procedures. After CSU sementara Sobri tak sampai lagi, Dylla terus pergi SDL (Self Directed Learning) room and practice venepuncture dengan Tiara so that takde lah after CSU je terus lupa haha. Lagipun macam rasa bersalah pula if I go out until evening tapi tak study and tak practice hehe skema. I told Sobri I felt a bit guilty, then he said I can practice communication skill with him. 

I went back to Vista and kemas barang apa semua because petang tu Dylla nak terus pergi TBS, nak balik Melaka weeee. Jumpa je Sobri terus membebel practice communication skill apa semua. Sempat lah practice venepuncture and cardiovascular examination. Practice cakap jelah, nope no touching dont worry haha. We decided to settle important things first so we went to Kamal because Sobri wanted to buy a lab coat, the dentist-style lab coat. Untunglah dah nak masuk clinical year, Dylla ni first year pun belum habis lagi.. ok brb crying haha. But alhamdulillah IMU macam cepat sikit ajar clinical and everything so takde lah rasa macam ketinggalan sangat dari my friends yang lain :') 

Then we stopped by at the nearest mosque for Sobri to perform Friday prayer. Takkan berjalan solat tinggal pula kan haaa. We straightly went to Jaya One after that. Singgah Boat Noodle first. We ordered 10 bowls, 5 for each of us. Tbh, 5 bowls were not enough for me wuaaa tapi cam takpelah nanti nanti makan lah lagi haha. Yes, I eat more than a guy does! Sabar jelah perut besar nak buat macam mana hehe. Then we singgah Sangkaya depan Salt 'n Koffie Gallery. I really really love the Sangkaya's coconut ice cream! Yes, I reallyyyy love anything made from coconut, just name it; air kelapa, jeli kelapa, coconut shake, etc semua Dylla suka. 

Before Sobri sent me to TBS, singgah jap UM jumpa Faai. Faai is one of my best friends since high school. Susah sangat nak contact Faai ni kalah Zahraa yang study Jordan haha because she doesn't have whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any social networks. Twitter ada tapi last tweet 2 years ago sampai Zahraa asked her, "Faai kau nak tak aku delete kan twitter kau?" Hahaha! Bagus lah sebenarnya. I really respect her with this kind of attitude. And even though she doesn't have any social networks, she never forgets to wish our birthday, guna text message biasa! Sempat lah borak nak dekat sejam macam macam cerita. Then Sobri sent me to TBS. I arrived there around 6.50pm. Tetiba ramai pula orang nak balik, so the latest bus ticket was on 8.30pm. Balik Melaka weeee. Hehe okay that's all for now. Nah gambar sikit.

Acah ayu lah konon. This photo was taken on the day before actually.

Boat Noodle



P/s: More photos in my Instagram :) 

Jun 8, 2015

Foodylla @ KL Big Kitchen Festival 2015

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Here's a quick post because I haven't finished researching for tomorrow's pbl discussion yet wuaaaa! Esok nak pbl harini baru nak cuak haha. I'm still in Melaka because usually ayah belikan ticket a day before balik but this time I thought it was okay if I just buy it on the spot but I was wrong. Sampai sampai tengok ticket 2.30 3.30 semua dah habis hm sedih jap (sedih di luar, gembira di dalam) hahaha. Kebetulan tomorrow's PBL at 2pm so I decided to go back tomorrow weeee. Ayah nak hantar actually but Dylla terus cakap tak payah susah susah esok Dylla naik je bas hehe padahal nak stay rumah for another night. Overly attached daughter :p 

Dylla nak story pasal KL Big Kitchen Festival (KLBKF) which I went a week ago. Dari haritu sempat tulis tajuk and beri salam je then terus save in draft sampai lah harini baru buka. Terkapai kapai bernafas dalam lautan perubatan (acewah ayat) hehe. 

Ignorant sikit to apa yang berlaku sekeliling so Dylla memang tak tahu pun ada KLBKF ni (sukahati bagi short form sendiri haha). Dylla tahu pun sebab terperasan one of my friends, Ain posted in her instagram. Then nampak pula conversation between my other 2 friends, Audi and Rieza yang beriya nak pergi this carnival. Dylla pun apa lagi, bab bab makan ni memang laju je hmm mana lah berat tak naik..

Rieza fetched Audi and I from our places then straightly went to Dataran Merdeka. Sampai sampai terus beli ticket masuk and that time juga terus hujan. Lebat pula tu! Beriya Dylla buka payung tapi last last payung terbalik sebab angin kuat sangat haha nasib dah memang dekat dengan khemah.

Pusing punya pusing wuaaaa seronoknya banyak fooooodddd! But time tu macam dah petang lah juga, I bet in the morning mesti lagi banyak food! Sampai sampai terus nampak deep fried chicken, sushi, dumplings, macam macam kuih, nasi kuning and lauk, ahhh rambang mata. Then we went to another tent and this tent sold food according to states! Macam macam adaaa! Kalau Negeri Sembilan ada their famous daging salai masak lemak cili api! Melaka ada apa entah I forgot. Ada ayam berempah lah nyumnyum!

Then ada orang jual teh tarik hipster apa nama entah Dylla dah lupa. Beli lah satu. Even though I don't really like teh susu / teh tarik but tbh the taste was quite good! Pekat and manis. Then kitorang pergi tent yang tertutup pula. My favourite tent was of course lah tent 'Manisan' hehehe. Ada Sangkaya! Ahhh sedapnyaaaa! I'm a true fan of kelapaaaa and sedapnya aiskrim kelapa sangkaya! It's a bit pricey but takpe lah kan sekali sekala, sebab suka punya pasal hehe. Then ambil gambar sana sini. Dalam hujan hujan pi redah semata mata nak ambil gambar. Mesti orang orang sekeliling cam "Apalah bebudak ni ambil gambar dalam hujan" hahaha.

It was fun! Makan memang lah seronok je Dylla ni hehe. Few more photos in my Instagram! Kalau sesiapa nak makan tapi takde geng haaa boleh ajak Dylla! Tapi perempuan je okay hehe. (Perasan ada orang nak ajak :p) 

Okay lah jom siapkan PBL! Oh congrats to all my friends who study in Jordan sebab dah habis exam so cepat lah balik then boleh keluar makan together weeee.

Assalamualaikum! :D

P/s: Baru perasan banyak betul tanda seru, over excited bab bercerita pasal food -.- Sorry ye semua Dylla memang macam ni sikit hehe. 

Jun 3, 2015

Cara Membuat Gam Kanji

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Apa lagi gam paling murah dan jimat selain gam kanji haaa. Tetiba teringat time sekolah rendah cikgu ajar buat gam kanji then ibu buatkan hehe. Buat satu mangkuk then guna banyak banyak. Dulu ada 'Art Attack', channel yang buat arts and creative stuffs. Nak beli pva glue takut membazir so buat lah gam kanji then tak jadi arts sebab gam kanji and pva glue tak sama hahaha.

Here's how you can do it!

Barang-barang yang diperlukan ialah:
4 sudu besar tepung ubi kayu / tepung kanji
500ml air

Cara-caranya mudah sangat!
1.  Campur je tepung dan air.
2.  Gaul sehingga sebati.
3.  Panaskan di atas api sehingga menjadi pekat. Make sure sentiasa kacau supaya tidak berketul.

Taraaa siap!
But jangan lah guna terus, panas dik oi hehe.
Let it to cool down first before using it.

Selamat mencuba!

Credit to Mr. Google

P/s: Dylla ni dah kenapa tetiba ajar buat gam kanji *jeling* haha