15 Years Back Then

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

It's the longest period of time I haven't touched a book since a few months ago. It feels a bit weird, but nope, I still don't wanna touch it now. Yet. Gimme 10 more minutes to type this post, then I will think about it okay hehe. 

I notice the meaning of Raya to me has changed a lot these past few years. Or is it because I'm becoming more mature and I understand the real meaning of Raya, which makes me appreciate Raya even more? Probably yes. 

15 years back then, Raya to me was about playing sparklers and firecrackers with cousins, sleeping at my grandparents' house, waking up in the morning by the rooster's crow and of course getting duit raya (though I secretly hope I still get it now hehe). 

15 years back then, when Datuk was still alive, at night before Raya, he'd install an extended lamp from inside the house to the garage and place a number of pelitas around the house for us to play with the sparklers. He'd then sit on his favourite lazy chair outside the house while watching us playing together. A secret to share, my grandfather had a few packets of mercun bola, for him to scare the other children if they threw the firecrackers at our house haha. On the other hand, on my ayah's side, my late grandfather really really really hated firecrackers because he'd get shocked. So if anyone played firecrackers near his house, he'd chase them away. Cucu tak cucu, sama je kena haha. 

15 years back then, a month before every Raya, ibu ayah would start buying new clothes for us. 8 pairs for each of us; 4-day clothes and 4-night clothes. Then ibu would pack for us, while we packed our sparklers and firecrackers. 

15 years back then, when people came to my grandparents' house, the moment I heard 'Assalamualaikum', wooshhhh all of us, my cousins and I disappeared. Later when the guests wanted to leave, Datuk would call our names one by one to receive duit raya. If not, we would just stay in our rooms quietly, pretending there was no one haha. 

But, now the meaning of Raya to me is different. It is about gathering with the big family, sharing jokes and stories, updating about each other's lives and just spending time together. Doing nothing is fine as long as we get the chance to be at the same place and same time together. 

Both of my Datuks are not here anymore. They passed away a few years ago. Raya somehow is not the same anymore. There's no one to install extended lamp. No mercun bola in the drawer anymore. No one to scold the kids and ask them to play the firecrackers away. And I play neither sparklers nor firecrackers anymore. Just once in awhile, only when I need to take care of the kids. 

I buy Raya clothes really last minute. Usually, I will buy a few days before Raya. I choose what I wanna wear instead of my parents, though my father is still the one who pays it hehe thank you, ayah. And we don't have to pack our clothes anymore as we sleep at our own house and go back to kampung on the Raya day itself because both of my kampungs are really near, and the room in kampung is not big enough for the 5 of us. 

My sister, cousin and I were among the people, together with my mother and aunts who stay in the kitchen especially when guests come. There are a lot of works to do in the kitchen. No more running into the room the moment we hear 'Assalamualaikum' haha.

Here are some photos I wanna share. I posted a few more, including me with my favourite tree, which I used to climb in my Instagram, @dyllarezan. 

Budak budak panjat pokok. Tengok tu yang kecik tu pun nak jugak panjat.


Eh eh ter candid pulak hehe.


Weeeee






Though the meaning of Raya to me might have changed, but I still love Raya because that means I can go back home weeeeeee hehe.


SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN!


P/s: Anyway, how was your Raya? Did you get the chance to go back home? Or did you work on the first day of Raya? I hope you had so much fun celebrating Raya this year :)

I'm Back!

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. 

Hellooooooo everyone! 

Just in case if you guys have forgotten, I'm Ardilla Noorezan. Who am I? No one. So, you are not expected to know me actually haha. 

What an interesting way to start a post after so long not writing one, Ardilla . . . 

Yes, alhamdulillah I'm still alive, trying to survive in Med school. How was everything? Hmmm which one should I start first? Should I start with the part where I almost cried when clerking a patient? Or my car crashed into a tree? Or the part where I had trouble sleeping? Hm, which one.. haha. Okay, I'll just tell briefly about everything I can remember, alright? Grab some popcorn and keep scrolling hehe. 

I already finished 7-week of Family Medicine and almost finish my 2nd 7-week-posting which is surgery. I loveeee this clinical phase because finally, I can relate the theory part and real things. This is also the phase which I learn a lot. Not just about Medicine and people, but also about myself. I get to know myself better; I believe I can be just as good as everyone else. I learn to appreciate small things that I should have been grateful for, which I overlooked before. For example like having a good relationship; be it with family, or friends, or strangers. And this phase trains me to become a stronger person in the future. Gituuuu. Dah macam reflective writing hehe. 

Oh yes about the car crash, if you followed me on Instagram, you probably would notice the day when I posted a photo of my damaged car after skidding, spinning and crashing into a tree. It was raining heavily that morning and my first time going on the different route. One split second, it happened. It was so fast. My car spun a few times, but thank Allah there was no other car and I was fine. Alhamdulillah. 

I have a looootttt of things to tell you guys. And I'm so sorry I haven't updated about India, China and a few other trips, which some of you requested. Just a quick survey here; which topic you want me to talk first? About my current life? How's clinical phase in medical school? Or continue about India trip? Sarawak? China? Or any other interesting topics you'd like to suggest. Don't be shy, just drop your comments okay? It will be so helpful to me. Hehe thank you!

Oh andddd Ramadan Kareem!

I shall continue my work now, see ya!