Showing posts from 2018

I Have Something To Admit

Let's this be something between us only, shall we?  Assalamualaikum and hi guys!  Blogspot is probably not a trend anymore because most people already 'migrate' to vlog, I guess? But, that's not the main issue. I have something to admit.  I just diagnosed myself having Social Media Use Disorder.  Final exam pro part 1 is less than a month away, and I was reading about Alcohol Use Disorder. While trying to digest word by word, I purposely tried to change the word from alcohol to social media, and guess what, I fit the criteria! Haha there's no such thing as social media use disorder anyway guys, but I do feel that I really need to cut down my time spending on social media.  Some of the criteria (out of 11) in DSM-5 for Alcohol Use Disorder; Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period of time than intended.  There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful effort to cut down or control alcohol use.  Craving, or a strong desire o


Failure is not something one aims for. I bet no one ever wishes to fail. I set up a really high goal for myself, and when I don't manage to achieve what I've aimed, I feel like I fail. I see myself as a failure.  The thoughts of being a failure haunt me day and night, telling me I'm not good enough. Like I'd said a few times, Medic is never easy for me. When I fail to achieve something, my heart shatters. I feel discouraged and down, at the same time start to doubt myself. And knowing that I have less than one year to graduate somehow increases my anxiety.  Am I competent enough?  Can I handle everything?  But, every time I have this feeling, I would remind myself.  Failure without effort is either a real failure or a reminder. Failure after putting a lot of effort and hard work is a chance to improve and a gap to fill, in other words, to make you better in that particular area. In life, there are ups and downs, and I believe, one time you fail do

Final Chapter

Currently, I'm in week 6 of Surgery & Anaesthesia postings. Surgery is always one of my favourite postings and surprisingly, I kinda like Anaes as well, especially during the simulation of clinical management sessions, where we had to manage the patient in an emergency situation. I might become an emergency specialist one day, who knows? Hehe. "Final Chapter"  Nah-uh. It’s not really the final chapter of the final book. It’s the final chapter of the first book entitled ‘Life As A Medical Student’. Somehow, time flies so fast. I tend to say ‘fifth year’ rather than ‘final year’, although both bring the same meaning. I’m so eager to finish med school and start working, but I can’t help asking myself, “Am I competent enough?” Honestly saying, I don’t even remember all the dosage for medications. Yet.  Hoping for the best. Fingers crossed.

After 12 Years, He still Remembers Me

Photo cred: I couldn't believe he remembers my name. I must be a very good girl back then. Ok perasan. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. My ayah owns a cylinder gas company. If you were at the same primary school with me, you'd probably remember some naughty students calling me "Anak gas"(???) haha.  I studied in Sekolah Kebangsaan Bukit Beruang, Melaka. Yes, there's a hill just behind my school, which where the 'Bukit Beruang' (Bear Hill) name came from, although no one ever saw a bear, and good to know that no one did. This school has a special place in my heart. This was where I started to love Mathematics and got involved in Maths Olympiad, and all sorts of Mathematics Competitions. A big thanks to Cikgu Norliza for guiding me in Maths Olympiad from the district level, to state, to national and lastly, to the international level in Hong Kong, which unfortunately I had to reject due to some reasons.

Selective Posting - First Day, First CPR, First Death

After 4 years, I am back at this place. What happened in 2014 was something that I would never forget. What about the incident that happened on the first day? Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. For those who follow me on my Instagram, you might be aware that currently, I'm having my selective posting in Accident & Emergency (A&E) department at Melaka General Hospital. Today marks the end of the third week, and so far, day by day, I love being in A&E even more. I still remember the first day when I stepped into the red zone a.k.a 'resus'. I was here before in 2014, as a patient's relative. I wasn't a part of the team. I wasn't even a medical student yet. I knew nothing about medical jargons, nor that I fully understood medical explanations in layman's terms. I questioned the doctors, nurses, MAs, guards for not allowing us, the family members to enter, observing my late grandfather at his last breath. Little did I know that ti

Birthday Surprise - A Success Or A Failure?

I couldn't read his face. Did he feel surprised? Or not? It could be either way. But I just couldn't tell it. Then I decided to ask him directly.  Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. Yesterday was Sobri's 24th birthday and after so many years of LDR and facetime wishes, I wanted to make this year a different one for him ceh konon. He's working in JB and for the current posting, he has to work even on the weekends. I planned to make a surprise, and was it a success? Or a failure? Jeng jeng jeng.  On the 10th of April, I contacted one of his friends who works and stays in JB, Ily. She's one of his group of friends who he often hangs out together. I consider myself and Ily as acquaintances as we follow each other on Instagram, know each other presence, but never met in person. Ily was willing to help me, and another great thing was another friend of Sobri, Feeda agreed to join as well weee the more the merrier.  I already booked a bus ticket t

The First Thing Her Husband Asked

Disclaimer: Some medical and sensitive terms used in this context are for knowledge purposes. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. An elderly lady came to the gynaecology clinic for a regular follow-up due to pelvic organ prolapse. She already underwent a surgery to repair, but the same problem happened once again and what made it worsened this time was the problem started to interfere with her urination and causing her to have difficulty in passing urine. I was attached to a medical officer (MO), and the patient told the doctor that she felt really uncomfortable, not only when she wanted to pass urine, but also when she stood for a long time. Gravity made it easy to find a way out. The doctor told her that the only way to solve this problem is actually to undergo another surgery called colpocleisis, which is a procedure to fully close the vagina so that it won't protrude through the vagina, hang down and disturb her during either standing or walking. She hesitated