Still Can't Move On

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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Listening to Richard Marx - Waiting For You and this song never fails to make me really sad.
Cried almost every time listening to it.
It was Datuk's all time fav song.
I heard he sang this song for the first time when we were in the car as he drove me back to my home from kindergarten.
251st day since he left us, but I still can't move on.
I always try my best to avoid looking at his photo, searching his video and smelling his shirt so that I won't cry like a baby in front of others.
But sometimes, I miss him too much that only by crying (while reciting du'a) could I feel satisfy.

If I could turn back time,
I would tell him thousand times every day that I really love him.

If I could turn back time,
I would go to his house every day just like what I did when I was in kindergarten and primary school.

If I could turn back time,
I would record his actions and daily activities so that I would never forget his voice and what he liked to do.

If I could turn back time,
I would kiss his cheeks every day telling him I love him so much.

If I could turn back time,
I would keep all stuffs he gave me properly and write every single thing he told me.

If I could turn back time,
I would eat nasi lemak masjid that he usually brought home after Maghrib for the last time.

If I could turn back time,
I would never make him asked "Mana Ardilla?"

If I could turn back time,
I would definitely stay by his bed and watch he released his last breath.

If I could turn back time, if I knew he's going to meet Allah soon, I will cherish every single moment and every single second with him.

Sorry for being emotional tonight.
It's just that I really miss him right now.
I wish he were here to ask me whether I'm okay or not, how's my study etc.

Datuk will be missed, but never forgotten.
May Allah swt forgive him and place his soul among the righteous in the Hereafter.
InshaaAllah amin. Al Fatihah.

Assalamualaikum.

P/s:
Please, please and please appreciate your beloved ones.
You never know when they'll leave you forever.
By that time, you'll wish you could turn back time but it will be in vain.
You could never turn back time, past remains past.

Comments

  1. AinalMonday, October 20, 2014 11:01:00 PM

    The "what ifs" hmm. The least thing that you can do is sending him your prayers :) and i didnt know that youre still blogging. Thank god ada kawan haha. Anyhow, take care dylzz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ardilla NoorezanMonday, October 20, 2014 11:08:00 PM

      The "what ifs" keep telling me that there are lots of things I did wrongly :( mestilah ada, everytime kau update aku perasan hehe. Thank you chikazz, take care too!

      Delete
  2. Anak IbuAyahMonday, October 20, 2014 11:15:00 PM

    Al fatihah. Yes, do appreciate people around us :) its the best way

    ReplyDelete

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