Emo Tak Tentu Pasal

This post is supposed to be posted on 16TH JUNE 2015. 

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. 

Haha what's up with the title. I went out for lunteaner (lunch+tea+dinner, new word created by Dylla hehe) then tak habis habis Sobri ungkit pasal Dylla emo lah apa lah *jeling*. Ni semua gara gara semalam, Dylla tetiba je rasa nak marah orang hm tapi takde lah marah sangat pun. Memang ada kot pre-csu syndrome :p haha because bila esok ada clinical skills session je mesti Dylla rasa macam tak senang duduk, especially if hari esok history taking pehh. Bukannya apa, during Cardiovascular System if I'm not mistaken, Dylla kena ambil full history daripada simulated patient (included history of presenting illness, systemic review, family history, pass illness and medication and social history), then time tengah interview sp tetiba doctor tu stop kan Dylla kejap and beritahu yang Dylla tak cukup show empathy blabla and since then, I always wished I would never have to take history again. And kebetulan 2 history taking sessions after tu memang Dylla kena part summary je, phew.

Dylla memang kalau clinical session je mesti tak pernah nak volunteer, well, for me if you volunteer means you are already an expert which is definitely NOT TRUE. My friends always told and advised me to volunteer so that you have the chance to practice in front of the real doctors! Yelah sebab sometimes if practise depan kawan kawan tak semestinya semua benda diorang tahu because they also are still learning but hmm yeah that's me. I need to change, tak boleh dah jadi tak confident and penakut tak nak volunteer.

Today..

Another history taking session. Included some physical examinations.

Yeah yeah as usual, my group mates yang volunteer apa semua dulu. We had a peer tutor who has already become a houseman to guide us. The first case was about cvs; bruising on the left leg because of poor management on the taking of warfarin as the patient didn't turn up for 2 appointments. From history taking to physical examination, no one passed the case to me. Maybe because diorang pun tahu yang Dylla ni memang tak suka volunteer and kalau boleh tak nak kena langsung hahaha. So sampai lah habis cvs case, group mates Dylla yang buat semua. Dylla rasa macam nak lah juga actually took part in that case but then hmmm rasa tak confident. Yelah diorang semua nampak macam hebat hebat je, kalau nak dibanding kan dengan Dylla :/

Masa kitorang baru nak wrap up the first case, tetiba sorang sp masuk cubicle kitorang dengan oxygen mask and terus je baring atas katil. Rupa-rupanya sp ni memang experienced sp, rasanya dah lama kot dia jadi sp and selalu involve dalam exam juga. Dia siap kasi advices apa semua hmm I think he was one of the SPs Dr L talked about; they tend to think they're doctors haha. But somehow bagus juga lah because dia siap tolong beritahu apa betul apa salah if peer tutor tertinggal. Okay ulang balik.. haaa so bila move to the next case memang Dylla lah yang kena sebab Dylla je yang belum kena lagi haha! Patient dah lah baring atas katil, hmmm our first time encountered this kind of case. Dylla cakap kat diri sendiri, takpe lek je, do like what you usually did.

So Dylla pun start lah tanya itu ini. In the middle of conversation Dylla rancak gila bertanya itu ini sebab macam nak tahu betul betul apa masalah patient ni sampai Dylla terlupa ada peer tutor and group mates keliling kitorang haha! Then at the end, after Idea, Concern and Expectation, Dylla pun thanked the patient and looked at our peer tutor. Peer tutor tu cakap,"You did well." and out of sudden sp tu menyampuk, "Yes you did very well. I really like your style. As a patient, I like your style. You're very calm. You really wanted to know bout me. Blablabla." And peer tutor tu pun cakap lagi, "Yes, true. For a student like you, yes you did well and I like your style." Weeeee terus rasa cam berada di awang awangan. Rasa segan sikit sebab semua orang pandang (hehe gedik) and at the same time rasa ada lah confident balik "Rupa rupanya aku lebih kurang macam kawan kawan yang lain. Tak teruk pun." Alhamdulillah.

Then sampai ke habis csu mood Dylla baik hehe. After that Sobri bawa keluar makan (gambar hashtag Foodylla in my instagram kehkeh) and beriya Dylla cerita semua benda haha over excited!

So as a conclusion, somehow bila rasa diri tak hebat apa semua, we have to be brave enough and challenge ourselves. If we don't try, we wouldn't know. Lesson learnt. Hopefully I will be braver to volunteer next time! Hehe.

Assalamualaikum :D