15 Years Back Then

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

It's the longest period of time I haven't touched a book since a few months ago. It feels a bit weird, but nope, I still don't wanna touch it now. Yet. Gimme 10 more minutes to type this post, then I will think about it okay hehe. 

I notice the meaning of Raya to me has changed a lot these past few years. Or is it because I'm becoming more mature and I understand the real meaning of Raya, which makes me appreciate Raya even more? Probably yes. 

15 years back then, Raya to me was about playing sparklers and firecrackers with cousins, sleeping at my grandparents' house, waking up in the morning by the rooster's crow and of course getting duit raya (though I secretly hope I still get it now hehe). 

15 years back then, when Datuk was still alive, at night before Raya, he'd install an extended lamp from inside the house to the garage and place a number of pelitas around the house for us to play with the sparklers. He'd then sit on his favourite lazy chair outside the house while watching us playing together. A secret to share, my grandfather had a few packets of mercun bola, for him to scare the other children if they threw the firecrackers at our house haha. On the other hand, on my ayah's side, my late grandfather really really really hated firecrackers because he'd get shocked. So if anyone played firecrackers near his house, he'd chase them away. Cucu tak cucu, sama je kena haha. 

15 years back then, a month before every Raya, ibu ayah would start buying new clothes for us. 8 pairs for each of us; 4-day clothes and 4-night clothes. Then ibu would pack for us, while we packed our sparklers and firecrackers. 

15 years back then, when people came to my grandparents' house, the moment I heard 'Assalamualaikum', wooshhhh all of us, my cousins and I disappeared. Later when the guests wanted to leave, Datuk would call our names one by one to receive duit raya. If not, we would just stay in our rooms quietly, pretending there was no one haha. 

But, now the meaning of Raya to me is different. It is about gathering with the big family, sharing jokes and stories, updating about each other's lives and just spending time together. Doing nothing is fine as long as we get the chance to be at the same place and same time together. 

Both of my Datuks are not here anymore. They passed away a few years ago. Raya somehow is not the same anymore. There's no one to install extended lamp. No mercun bola in the drawer anymore. No one to scold the kids and ask them to play the firecrackers away. And I play neither sparklers nor firecrackers anymore. Just once in awhile, only when I need to take care of the kids. 

I buy Raya clothes really last minute. Usually, I will buy a few days before Raya. I choose what I wanna wear instead of my parents, though my father is still the one who pays it hehe thank you, ayah. And we don't have to pack our clothes anymore as we sleep at our own house and go back to kampung on the Raya day itself because both of my kampungs are really near, and the room in kampung is not big enough for the 5 of us. 

My sister, cousin and I were among the people, together with my mother and aunts who stay in the kitchen especially when guests come. There are a lot of works to do in the kitchen. No more running into the room the moment we hear 'Assalamualaikum' haha.

Here are some photos I wanna share. I posted a few more, including me with my favourite tree, which I used to climb in my Instagram, @dyllarezan. 

Budak budak panjat pokok. Tengok tu yang kecik tu pun nak jugak panjat.

Eh eh ter candid pulak hehe.


Though the meaning of Raya to me might have changed, but I still love Raya because that means I can go back home weeeeeee hehe.


P/s: Anyway, how was your Raya? Did you get the chance to go back home? Or did you work on the first day of Raya? I hope you had so much fun celebrating Raya this year :)


  1. akak pun rasa my definition of raya dah no longer the same. with my dad is no longer around memang tak sama langsung. no more kemeriahan and everything. just sekadar merayakan.

    btw salam eid dear.. maaf zahir batin =)

    1. Yup saya faham tu. Salam eid, and maaf zahir batin jugak Kak Siti! Hehe

    2. Datang beraya walaupun dah terlambat! Hai, Dylla! How are you, dik?
      Raya sekarang dah tak macam dulu. Yess, from time to time, definition of raya will become more subjective heheheh lagi2 kalau dah sampai umur macam akak ni :)

  2. Selamat hari raya.. walau dh berlalu syawal, saja nk share, kemeriahan tetap ada bila kita saling berziarah sesama saudara & para kenalan

  3. Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin! Cantiknya tuan empunya blog ni. Bunga dah dipetik orang ke?


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