I Miss Him.

At time like this, I miss datuk. I really really really miss him. Listening to his favourite song, Waiting For You by Richard Marx and thinking of him are enough to make my teardrops roll down my cheek non-stop. How I wish he's still here. I always avoid talking about him esp with ibu because I know I will cry, but in front of ibu.. I decide to be strong. I prefer crying alone.  

Missing someone who has gone forever is much more hurtful. I can't meet him. I can't tell him how much I miss him. I can't hug him. I can't kiss him. I can't have him to kiss my forehead. I can't spend time with him. I can't look at his beard, and his smile. I can't tell my problems and doubts to him. I can't hear him giving me any advices. I can't have his supports. And I will never meet him again in this world.

I lost someone who always supported me in whatever I do. I lost someone who taught me how to be a courageous and strong person. I lost someone who held my hand so strong when I went to the dental clinic for the first time in my life. I lost someone who always told good stories. I lost someone who always brought 'nasi lemak' on every Friday night. I lost someone who always concerned about me, about us. I lost someone who always taught me English and life experiences. I lost someone who was the only person who always kissed my forehead. I lost someone who always care about me since I was a kid. I lost someone who called me 'Nurul', the first time people called me by name though my parents hadn't think about my name yet. I lost someone who really want to see me become a doctor. And the most important thing, I lost someone who I really really love.

Even 11-page post wouldn't be enough to tell everything. Every single thing about him was so perfect to me and will always be. For me he is always handsome. Handsome the way he was. Handsome till he let go his last breath. Handsome till I kissed him for the last time. Handsome till they buried him in the soil. Handsome till the end of my life. No one will ever and can't never replace him in my heart. His place in my heart is always there, never been touched and will never become smaller.

Like he always said, "Unto death we apart." And yes we apart because of death. I should be happy for him. Allah loves him more than I do so Allah took him first. It just sometimes that I feel sad because I really miss him. The ache of missing him doesn't lessen and will never fade, it just changes.

May Allah place his soul among the righteous in the Hereafter. Al-Fatihah.